From full to empty
Inspiration is a good thing. Until it is not
I know it SO well.
Still, I allowed myself to buy into my frustration about not having created anything for quite some time, and found myself aimlessly listening to podcasts and scrolling on Social Media and elsewhere. First in the hopes of finding inspiration for something to write about, but after some time more like a zombie not really knowing why I kept doing it.
That is NOT healthy. AT ALL!
Add to that - as I already stated - I know this SO well.
Which I was reminded of through reading this article from The Quiet One.
While reading it I was silently screaming to myself (that IS a thing, right? Silently screaming?):
“Step back! You need to step back to hear your own voice!”
Looking to others for inspiration is absolutely not a bad thing. When it gets unhealthy is when you are clearly in a state of overload to the extent that trying to access YOU, YOUR voice, your OWN truth… you end up feeling empty. It’s all gone quiet.
At the age of 70, I do seem to still revisit some old programs. Despite the fact that I have done A LOT of deconditioning over the years. Also, despite having “preached” for many years about the importance of discernement - what belongs to YOU and what belongs to others - I obviously walked right into the trap of not practising what I preach.
Thus ending up at first with lots of good inspiration slowly turning into overload and then: It all went quiet. Empty.
I will tie this to Human Design to describe and explain why I have said “I know this SO well”:
What you see in this image is my Human Design Bodygraph and you will notice that the top triangle is circled in.
(You can get your own Human Design Blueprint here)
This is the Head Center and you can see it is not coloured in, meaning it is an OPEN center (or undefined had one or more of the gates been coloured in). It is also a “pressure center” which signifies that discernment (among other things) is crucial.
An open Head Center is about MENTAL PRESSURE: Pressure to understand, to know, to have answers to questions that aren’t even yours to answer. It is about INSPIRATION: Specifically inconsistent inspiration. Meaning you can experience a flood of inspiration coming in left and right from your environment. But does it all belong to you?
This is not a tutorial about the Human Design Head Center. A LOT more goes into this, but to tie it into todays topic on how chasing inspiration can leave you empty and temporarily lose contact with your voice, here is what is important to be aware of:
You do not always have to figure things out
It is OK to be confused and to not have answers right now
It is safe to let go. To take a step back
DISCERNMENT: Perhaps the most important one: Learn to distinguish between what belongs to you and what belongs to someone or something (e.g. the Earth) else.
Do what it takes for you to release any amount of overload and find your way back to YOU: Meditate, move your body, go out into nature, spend time with children and/or pets.
Do whatever works for you. No right or wrong.
I will end with this:
Decisions are not to be made from the head/mind. Wisdom, wonder, awe and deep thinking are within this open/undefined center.
A still mind is often a healthy mind. Still not being the same as empty.
My mind is still slightly crowded, so I’m off to practise what I preach: Out into nature and letting go! Soon back on track!