I walked beside her
Waiting patiently
I walked beside her.
Sometimes a little behind.
Other times slightly ahead of her.
But for the most time, beside her. Close.
Beside her.
At one time we were just about the same age.
But she grew older.
And I still walked beside her.
Wondering…..
When she would know that I was there…..
Had she completely forgotten?
We used to talk. We used to….. to be a team
We used to…. well… we used to…
But she grew older. Into adulthood.
And so much of what she used to be, she… she sort of…. I don’t know….
Did she forget?
Or did she just hide it?
I wonder…. I wonder, is it…. was it because she didn’t feel safe?
Didn’t she know that she could always trust what was inside of her?
Hmm….. I could see that she could see…. she could see things so clearly
She could see SO much, but it was as if she didn’t quite know how to put it into words.
I also noticed how hard it was on her when she tried to articulate things and it was as if no one listened.
As if they couldn’t hear her.
Sometimes they couldn’t even see her.
I knew it hurt, but she always put on a brave face.
She chose to stay quiet. To be the observer.
And there I was.
Walking beside her.
Waiting patiently for the day she would ask herself
Where did I go?
What happened?
The day came….
The day came when she was completely, utterly exhausted.
Her body, her mind, her soul was screaming
I still waited. Because I knew….
It was time. Soon it was time.
She would spot me, and deep in my heart I hoped - or acutally I knew - she would recognize me.
And she did.
I blurted out:
How could you forget me? How could you leave me just walking beside you?
And she looked me in the eyes and said: “I’m sorry”
“I am so, so sorry. I will never, ever forget again”
And we cried. We hugged.
And we merged.
She and I are one now. We are back together.
As one.
I am so proud of what she did next. She wrote a note to herself. Translation below the image.
It is dated Dec 30th, 2003:
“Dear Susanne,
I am writing to you from the future - perhaps 5 to 10 years from now.
After having forgiven yourself for leaving you behind, I will remind you to ALWAYS, ALWAYS have trust.
TRUST in yourself - in the core of your being. In what fills you with PEACE and LOVE.
That makes you be PEACE and LOVE and I ask you to never waiver from that.
Never leave what and who is YOU.
Turn to source for courage and wisdom as often as you can and no matter how much fear or uncertainty you feel, SURRENDER and TRUST.
In source is all the wisdom and guidance you will ever need.
The journey has begun and I ask you to join all the way to the last stop. Even if it may sometimes entail pain.”
Promises made, promises kept!