That was then. This is now.

The art of letting the past be and move on

“I can’t believe I chose that. Why the h*!%k didn’t I do that instead. I get so fu*%!ng mad at myself. Just think where I would have been if I’d made the right choice back then”

This is my husband speaking. He is wired that way. Which I suspect many people are. I used to be too, but at some point in my life I chose something different that has made life quite a bit easier and more spacious.

Which is why I ask the question - the same question I asked myself years ago:

In which direction are you going in life? Which way do you want to go?

Forward? Back? Or is it “stand at ease”?

The stories we regurgitate about what we should have done, what we should not have done, what we should or should not have said, what we should or should not have chosen… In short, all the things we judge ourselves for that amplify the feelings of shame, blame and guilt we may carry, contribute to being stuck in the past.

Life becomes much like a “cha-cha”: You step your feet both forward, back, sideways and on the spot. It moves you around the dance floor, but doesn’t really take you anywhere, does it?

(If you enjoy a cha-cha, by all means; DANCE!)

Here’s another question to ask when and if you feel drawn to bask in the “what I should have done, said, chosen” moments:

Can something be done about it?

Yes? Do it and move on. No? That is when you say out loud:

That was then. This is now.

And move on. In the direction you want to move. Which would be forward, right?

“Really?! I can’t be that simple. In fact, it is not.”

Was that your thoughts? Well, to that I would say:

What if it is? Really, what if it is?

What if the way we complicate so many aspects of our lives, is completely unnecessary? What if it is, in fact not true?

I know, that for some things in life, you may need to do some deconditioning work. And for the more serious incidents also councelling or therapy. These are not the cases I think about in the context of letting go and moving on here.

The thing is, our minds get in the way. We cannot trust our minds, our brain to accept a concept where things can be simple. Easy.

Our mind actually relies on the past for information and “evidence”. So if we try to think our way to expanded ways of being and live our lives… well, we will be disappointed. One of our mind’s more important tasks is to keep us safe, so when you step outside of the known your mind freaks out.

Tell you mind to step aside. If the monkeymind is hard at work, feed it a banana and tell it that you’ve got this and start tapping into your awareness and knowing. We are all beings powerful far beyond our imagination.

I wrote a post about how I truly know at the core of my being, that life gets to be easy. You can read it here.

That post relates to much of this, and what I would want for you is to get in touch with your knowing and awareness of what is possible. You can simply ask yourself: “What do I know about this?”. And please, don’t go to Google for answers. You are not looking for answers, but rather for insights and awareness. Presence will come in handy. Good to be home, when insights knock on the door.

And next time you feel like going to the past and judge yourself for all the wrong choices, you say out loud: Ok, I hear you, but:

THAT WAS THEN. THIS IS NOW.

And move on. Head high. Your light on. Knowing how powerful you are and that life gets to be easy.

The combination of being pragmatic and increasingly more connected to soul makes my life much more fun.

I want that for you too. What do you say?

Till next time…..

P.S.: My husband almost never says things like that anymore. His wiring has changed.

P.P.S: I have a free email course on the basics of Human Design. Knowing your energetic blueprint is really valuable and useful for - among other things - making aligned decisions.